Our two Dwarves are incredibly cute, well behaved and smart.
At least this is what we were told at the clinic when they were born. By the time we realized the product was not exactly as advertised, it was too late to exchange it.
But I have to admit they are extremely well coordinated.
A few weeks ago Dwarf 1 came back from school with a note from his supply teacher, specifically requiring both parents sign it by the next day (everybody knows parents never talk together about their children, single-parent families don’t exist, and moms and dads are never away from home for professional reasons for a couple of days). It was specified Dwarf 1 had tried to cut his teacher’s clothes with scissors, as well as to hit her (the note however did not say if they were simultaneous actions or if he was getting more creative as time went by).
The SAME day, Dwarf 2 was sent back home from daycare because he was sick. I told him to take a nap, only to see him come back 20 minutes later, claiming he was now feeling perfectly well. After a harsh interrogation only moms can conduct, he admitted he had faked the illness because he did not feel like going to swimming class.
We are raising terrorists, and on that day I could not even share this great news with the Man as he was working a 24-hour shift.
P.S. according to Dwarf 1’s assistant teacher, the scissors episode was not as bad as stated by the supply teacher (it seems a whole day with 26 5 and 6 years olds can really do something to your nerves) and we should wait before starting our own reality show.
Dwarf 2, not even 4, is just described as “extremely smart and a bit early” by his teachers, who actually laughed at the whole story.
After intensely analyzing social media (see Do you follow me, part 1), the Man came to the conclusion that, due his current highly international exposure, he might indeed create a LinkedIn profile. It took him some time to complete it, as he kept complaining about the complexity and the stress the whole process was creating (coming from someone whose daily job is not to kill anybody by using numerous drugs and machines, the comment certainly was unexpected).
Once this hefty task was over, we spent several romantic evenings punctuated by “Hey….I know him!”, “Ha, funny, this girl is now working there” or “Incredible, my kindergarten teacher is on LinkedIn!” (yes, Honey, social networks are actually made of real people…usually).
This has been going on for several weeks now, and thanks to mandatory military duty for men enforced in Switzerland, the Man’s network is today quite impressive.
January was mostly spent in Switzerland for us, and I have to say it took all of us some time to recover from eating 5 fondues and 1 raclette in less than 3 weeks.
And as everybody knows February is a short month, which did not give me enough opportunities to write.
I thought about using the record cold temperatures Toronto experienced as an excuse (seriously, who can type with frozen fingertips?) but I did not find it interesting enough, as everyone is talking about it. My personal theory is that The Man once again managed to bring crazy weather upon the country, therefore achieving a near perfect score (winter 1: polar vortex; winter 2: coldest month of February in Toronto ever).
Good side of it is, the Dwarves will be able to brag about the fact they did ski when it was -25°C, and still are the happy owners of 10 toes and 10 fingers (each).
Their parents however have a few less dollars in their pockets as they had to heavily invest into hand warmers.